never posted this, hah, why not post it now.. a lot has happened since but.
Sofia is currently in the middle of godstiel/the death of castiel/the end of the world as we knew it, and I can finally talk to her about it, and she can talk about it with me - when I watched 7x17, I was in some kind of emotional coma state, I cried constantly and I was unable to move/breath for an hour. It was really scary. But - afterwards, I got kind of.. I don’t know. I mean, of course - all the feels!!!! but - still.. I was a bit disappointed in the episode, but I was probably just completely unable to think at all.
So I managed to stay under control, but when I think of the episode now - OMG!
sofia - you can’t read this!
but - ohhh my god. the look on dean’s face when cas doesn’t recognize him, when he talks about “his friend cas”, when meg says “bestest friends actually”, my feelings are all a mess, but oh my creys. AND THEN THEY WALK AWAY IN THE END? cas sacrifices his sanity for them, seriously, and they don’t even mention it?! they don’t even show some gratitude!?? he saved Sam’s life, he went mental to help him. and he doesn’t get a thank you!? they walk away, they agree that it’s for the best, it’s what’s safest, but - at least talk to each other!!! what the hell Sam, HE SAVED YOUR ASS, he brought it on himself instead…
it pisses me off. severely. sure, they are still pissed and hurt - but come on. what cas did.. he’s a hero. He is so sorry, he doesn’t think he deserves to be alive, he knows that they didn’t part friends and he doesn’t seem to think it possible for them to fix it. The annoying part is that when Cas and Dean are having their most emotional scenes, Dean is desperate for Cas to save Sam. Therefore, I’m not sure on how to interpret what Dean says.. does he really mean it? They needed a confrontation, an honest, face-to-face, confrontation, with angst, tears and everything!!! Cas went to mental-Cas before anything happened, and because they refuse to mention how they feel about what Cas did, one is left wondering - SO!? what happened? nothing’s changed? A lot has changed? They are ready to forgive him? Dean lied and is not in any way close to forgiving him? WHAAT? I can’t take it!!!